It is normal to feel uncomfortable preparing for and conducting a difficult conversation with an employee. However, it is necessary at times. According to a September 30, 2022 blog entitled “How to Have Difficult Conversations at Work,” published by TRICKLE, “According to the Chartered Management Institute (CMI), the top three difficult conversations are about pay (33%), inappropriate behaviour (31%) and feedback on poor performance (30%).” How to Have Difficult Conversations at Work | Trickle

Whatever the reason, it is challenging to prepare for and deliver a difficult performance conversation. Outlined below are three steps in preparing for and delivering that conversation:

1. Determine the goal of the conversation.

2. Prepare for the conversation.

3. Deliver the conversation.

Determine the Goal of the Conversation

Before preparing for or conducting a difficult conversation, the goal of the conversation must be determined. What is the behavior that is prompting the conversation? Is there an expectation for a change in behavior with respect to interacting with colleagues or an expectation to manage time effectively to increase productivity? What is the desired outcome? If the goal is not determined up front, and the goal is not clear, it opens the door for a frustrating conversation that may not end with an agreed upon course of action.

Prepare for the Conversation

It is important to prepare ahead of time for any difficult conversation. As stated above, think about the “what” that needs to be addressed, the desired outcome, and think through practical solutions that would contribute to a favorable outcome. Begin to prepare an outline or bullet point list with those items. Specific examples of the undesired behavior or performance deficiency should be noted so that if the conversation takes a turn or one of the parties gets sidetracked, it is easy to get back to the core of the conversation. Note that generalizations will likely cause an employee to become defensive.

Second, remember that the conversation is not personal. Taking emotion out of the conversation is essential, and emotions must be checked at the door. The conversation must be about the undesired behavior and proposed solutions to change that behavior for the benefit of the employee, the team, and the organization.

And finally, the employer and employee should both agree at the start of the meeting to be fully present and participate in a collaborative effort to resolve a challenge. In addition, the manager who will be conducting the performance evaluation should be prepared to offer their perspective on possible solutions and also to offer practical solutions if there is a need to do so.

Deliver the Conversation

Always remember to enter a difficult conversation with an open mind. Approach the conversation by telling the employee up front that 1) the goal of the conversation is to discuss an issue; 2) to allow the employee to offer their perspective; 3) to collaboratively discuss viable solutions; and 4) to prepare a plan of action. Why is this important? Transparency builds trust and respect for each other.

In delivering the conversation, address the challenge and state the goal. Allow the employee to speak and share their perspective, and “listen to hear, not to react.” Then discuss viable solutions and how to implement action to achieve the desired outcome. Once an agreement has been reached, restate the reason for the meeting, the actions that will be taken to move in a positive direction, and set a time to follow up with the employee to discuss progress.

If you are looking to provide training to your senior leaders or managers in the area of conducting difficult workplace conversations, contact IntegriStar for more information!